I want to be calm.  I long to be serene and at peace, no matter what life throws at me.  I want Jesus to be the first on my mind when I wake, throughout my day, and when I go to sleep.  Unfortunately, that’s just not reality for me right now.  I can’t figure out why.  I am in the Word every day, but inside I am an empty shell.  A hypocrite.  A sinner in need of a saving, daily…hourly…every second. Looking back on my life, there have been times that I have been so close to God.  I really … Continue reading The Ultimate Author