Me? Make a decision? The powers-that-be who presented me with a jury summons obviously don’t know the first thing about my strange decision-making processes. Today, for example, instead of deciding what to wear, I just wore the t-shirt I slept in and pulled on a pair of knit pants with lovely discolorations from a bad tumble with bleach. I also impulsively called the groomer this morning because I suddenly realized I could no longer see my little dog’s puppy eyes underneath all the fur. I make disorganized decisions that often have no bearing on logic but I make them because I see the big picture. Details, such as laying out clothes the night before or scheduling routine grooming appointments, are not my forte!

Anyway, tomorrow morning I must get up early (for me, that means before 7), get dressed in “appropriate” clothing (whatever that means), clean up any doggy messes, make breakfast for me and my daughter, get her homeschool work gathered, get her to a neighbor’s home, and navigate myself through Dallas traffic to a courthouse I’ve never been to before in my life. I must admit to feeling a little strange about the whole thing. I’ve been a registered voter for eighteen years, and this is the first summons I’ve ever received.

I seriously doubt I’ll be picked because I am a homeschool mom who has no other place for her fourth grader to go. If they pick me, they’ll be picking her, too, because I will not leave her at home. Nor do I particularly want to expose her innocence to whatever crime the jury will be hearing. I guess I could let her use her dad’s iphone and listen to music, but most trials have at least some visuals…at least the fictional ones I’ve read about have them!

But there are other reasons that I might not be selected aside from the homeschool factor. First and foremost is my relationship with Jesus. I would always obey the Holy Spirit in matters of a jury. This means that I do not (at least from this side of things) think I could serve on a capital murder case when the prosecutor is seeking the death penalty. I keep remembering Jesus speaking to the woman caught in adultery. Though she could have been stoned to death for her offense, Jesus, the ultimate judge, told the crowd (the ‘jury’) that they could stone her…but to let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone.

“All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

“No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

Wow. I must remember in my everyday life to be very careful about what I think when I see life around me. Though I may not speak things aloud, the Lord knows my thoughts. And I know that if I caught a friend of mine cheating on her husband, my thoughts would likely not be the same ones that Jesus thought. (Because I’m not Him, of course!) But I press on, striving to be more like him every day.

So here’s hoping I will not be selected to serve on a jury. I really can’t imagine that they will ask me to suspend my daughter’s education. But if they do, I will of course obey. We’ll have to make other arrangements. The homeschool community around here is so awesome!

***Shiner Update

Nothing new to report. I will take him in on Friday to see about changing his medicine in a last-ditch effort to make him feel better. I know cortisone is not a long-term fix. I know he is not going to be with me long-term. I don’t know why I can’t just let go…it would be easier if he had cancer or something obviously terminal. Or maybe the truth is I really am in denial and it is time to say good-bye, despite the fact that he still loves me and greets me with happy tail wagging and strains and puffs to get up just so he can come get a hug. Maybe it’s the fact that he uses Herculean efforts to climb up to sit on my lap. Maybe it’s because I can’t imagine snuggling on the couch on movie night without feeling his familiar weight settled against my legs.

I will post more after we visit the vet…thank you all for your prayers as we navigate these troubled waters.