Rain in my heart

My. Heart. Hurts. Tomorrow the weather will be a balmy 70-ish degree day, so I’ve planned for my daughter and I to do our homeschool outside. That way, we can take advantage of the sunshine while spending time with Shiner. I am feeling so desperate that I just sent an email to our old vet, the one we used back in Florida, to see if perhaps there is something, anything, that we’ve overlooked.

Maybe I should have walked him more to keep the arthritis at bay.

Maybe I should not have switched his food.

Maybe I should have tried accupuncture.

Maybe I’m doing this to myself because I can’t bear to think about losing him. How will I watch American Idol tonight without him curled up with me? The truth is, I’m already having to separate us. I can’t let him be with me in the house (read this morning’s post to see why). Today I stared at his doggy bed and dissolved into tears at the thought of never needing it again. What about his sweet food bowl that has the doggy prints all over it? I bought it for him when he was a puppy because he kept pushing his flimsy bowl all over the floor. In a few days, we won’t need it anymore.

Yet, God is still God. He is still mighty…holy…loving…faithful. He does not change. He gives. And, he takes away.

This is one of my favorite songs, and it has special meaning to me as I navigate this storm.

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