What’s for Dinner?

One of the most difficult things about having a husband who travels is figuring out what’s for dinner.  I know it seems a trivial concern, but  to me the question of What’s for Dinner is indeed a big deal.

Rather than having food issues, I guess you could say I have Non Food issues.  If there was a way to fill up my family the way I fill up my car with gasoline, I’d do it.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy cooking — it’s just that I don’t enjoy food.  Except perhaps for Dove dark chocolate, I am content to fill up on whatever so long as it is suitably bland and tomato-free and dairy-free and pecan-free and carrot and sweet potato-free….you see my problem.  It’s not so much that I am a picky eater as it is that those foods make me feel nasty.

I think I must be the only person on the planet who takes her daughter to Baskin Robbins and doesn’t get something for herself.  I can’t eat ice cream.  I love the flavor…but as soon as I swallow, it feels like it’s going to come back up.  Instant heartburn.  TMI, I know.

So, back to the meal-planning angst of this evening.  I didn’t.  Frozen waffles for her.  Almonds for me.  Yum yum.

Add my food sensitivities to my daughter’s pickiness, and you get some very small parameters for meals.  I have been down the “you must eat whatever I’m eating” street, and it is not pleasant.  She gags the whole time, which ruins my appetite as well as hers, and neither one of us ends up eating anything.  So, I refuse to make mealtimes battle times.  If she doesn’t want what I’m fixing, she can cook something else for herself.  But then there’s no shared experience, and cooking for one is so NOT fun.

I blame myself.  I always fed her bland food because that’s the way I like it.  She came back from camp exclaiming over the grilled chicken they served.  Grilled chicken?  Can this be the same child?  The very same one who wouldn’t touch a chicken unless it was properly breaded and fried to a crisp? Apparently, she liked the chicken because it was very peppery.

She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
-from Proverbs 31

That is so not me!  The Proverbs 31 woman is somehow erased from my DNA.  I wish I could find her somewhere. Is it wrong to wish the Lord had molded you a bit differently on the inside?

Lord, you made me.  You know me.  You renew me each and every day.  I can only pray that my weaknesses in this regard will somehow be made strong in You and will somehow glorify you.  Maybe not here and now.  But someday I’ll stand confident and know What’s for Dinner without feeling so inadequate.

Forgive the weirdness of this post.  I miss my husband who will be gone this week on our 14th wedding anniversary.  I miss his strength carrying me through on days like today when I don’t feel myself.  I’m tired and out of sorts after a whirlwind homeschooling conference and am now embroiled in a very busy VBS at church.  My stomach isn’t feeling great and has been yucky for the past couple of days…which ramps up my anxiety level, on a scale of 1 to 10, to about a 50.  Tonight I skipped dinner because every time I eat I feel sick.  I  know that’s not healthy and is not advisable for my 90 pound frame.  I also know that the Lord heals me and will give me the strength I need to bring the story alive tomorrow for our 277  kids at VBS.  What a blessing and a privilege to share the message: Fear Not!  God is Powerful!

Now if I can only listen to what I preach!

4 thoughts on “What’s for Dinner?

  1. First, I was reading this first thing in the morning, still in a complete fog, and totally preparing to ignore my husband’s need for breakfast. I’d even gotten up early to make it, but I was just so tired…

    I got to the quote in Proverbs and was so convicted I put the computer down mid-post to make him eggs and toast! 🙂 Thanks for that.

    Okay, now onto YOU. Is it possible you’re either PMSing or ovulating? (Sorry…you don’t have to answer that) When I get to those two points in my cycle I can sometimes have stomach issues. It usually puts my mind at ease when I know that’s the reason I’m feeling yucky.

    I think you’re a rock star for not only being without your hubby so often, but for doing VBS while he’s gone. ROCK STAR. 🙂

    And I’m pretty sure God feels the same way.

    Saying a prayer for you, nonetheless. Email or call me if you need to talk!

  2. I’m rockin, girl! VBS today went well. I lost my voice by the last time I told the story, but it still rocked. I wish I could internalize the reality of God’s power in my own psyche so that FEAR NOT could become my new mantra.

    Good for you for making hubby breakfast! YOU rock, too!

    I don’t think I am ovulating — it’s only day 12, but I guess it could be possible. The icky stomach thing I think may have something to do with the water we drink. It was bothering me before I left for the conference but was fine when we were there. Then, when I got back home, my stomach started getting upset again. I’m the only one who uses the water dispenser regularly (Sparkletts). I think that thing needs to be cleaned! Today I’m better (and eating again) but I haven’t had any of that water since yesterday around noon.

    My daughter went to a book club meeting yesterday at a friend’s house. Turns out the friend’s dad had been throwing up Saturday night and Sunday and was home in bed asleep while she was there. So now I have something new to obsess about. If I know someone in the family has been sick, NO WAY do I let her go over until at least a week has passed with no one else getting it. But I didn’t know. So here we are.

    And I’m too busy to freak out too much!! The shakes and panic attacks will just have to go to the end of the line. I need a nap — we had 50 first graders, 30 third graders, and 50 fifth graders rotate through my station today. Phew!

  3. SO proud of you, Christie. 🙂

    PS. I’d be freaked about the friends dad, too. Why on Earth don’t people TELL you someone is sick when your kid is coming over?!? Ugh.

  4. I think because to people who aren’t like us (i.e., obsessive and panic-prone and phobic about sick stuff), it’s just like a cold or something. They don’t tell us because, to them, it’s no big deal. If the whole family gets it, oh well. That’s life. (Wouldn’t you love to be able to have that attitude??)

    Moms with lots of kids (from what I can see) get real used to it and just don’t think twice. I need to make it a point to tell my new friends how strange I am about this so that they will know to give me a head’s up.

    She did tell me that she bleaches her kitchen all the time (her house is amazingly clean despite the fact that she has four kids underfoot — puts me to shame!), and the girls never even saw the dad. So hopefully it was all contained!

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