The Power of Words

Thirty years ago, a boy named Bill made a callous comment about me to his friends. His cruel words still ring in my ears, and I can remember where I was standing and the red flush that overspread my face as he spoke and the others laughed. My heart dropped to the ground and dug a deep hole that I still have to climb. Every single time I look in the mirror I hear his words in my head validating the insecurity I already felt about my body:

Nobody would ever want to go out with her. She’s as flat as a pancake.

If I thought that homeschooling my daughter would protect her from such vile, ugly behavior, I thought wrong. Christian homeschooled boys are just as capable of being disrespectful and cruel as their counterparts were thirty years ago. Only today, teenage girls have it worse than we did because the insults happen through written texts and chats that can be read and re-read. Even worse are comments made over group chats because then everyone “hears” them.

I would do a Duo (speech) with you but I only associate with attractive people.

Why would a boy say such a thing to a girl? He obviously doesn’t realize the power of words. Due to comments like the ones above, my beautiful daughter has convinced herself that she is unattractive and is ok with it (she says). 

But I say what the Psalms say — you are beautifully and wonderfully made!

Moms, please talk to your teens about what NOT to say. Teach them the power that resides in speech — power to encourage and uplift! Teach them to remove “ugly” from their vocabulary. None of us is ugly! God doesn’t create trash, and we are told that we are His masterpieces. We are made in His image. Dissing each other means we diss Him.

3 thoughts on “The Power of Words

  1. I love what Beth Moore said about this when we were at that taping long ago…who do we hand our cup out to? Letting others get to have a say about us is our own choice–Better to let God have the say and for good or bad, the rest is just gravy.

  2. Ugh, the hurt we carry on behalf of our daughters goes so much deeper than the hurt we experience on our own behalf, am I right? I have truly felt such a deep hatred towards some teenage ‘friends’ who have done my baby girl wrong! All we can do is keep reenforcing the good things in them and hope our voices drown out any that are speaking hateful words or doing hateful things to them!

    I’m sorry your daughter had this happen to her. Please let her know I think she is beautiful! 🙂

  3. I’m confused. As a a shallow hormone driven male, I get what the tacky boys said–at some point in life I likely said worse. The thing is, I don’t understand how they could be said about the author or her daughter? I mean, Cate is beautiful and brilliant–I could go on but it would be uber-creepy. I don’t get it. Also, the author is pretty enough, kind enough, and smart enough to land a guy who makes a lot of money, is a Christian, is the son of an astronaut, who’s brother was a naval aviator and has a pool AND a truck? Unattractive women don’t score like that. -ShallowMan out!

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