Thirty years ago, a boy named Bill made a callous comment about me to his friends. His cruel words still ring in my ears, and I can remember where I was standing and the red flush that overspread my face as he spoke and the others laughed. My heart dropped to the ground and dug a deep hole that I still have to climb. Every single time I look in the mirror I hear his words in my head validating the insecurity I already felt about my body:

Nobody would ever want to go out with her. She’s as flat as a pancake.

If I thought that homeschooling my daughter would protect her from such vile, ugly behavior, I thought wrong. Christian homeschooled boys are just as capable of being disrespectful and cruel as their counterparts were thirty years ago. Only today, teenage girls have it worse than we did because the insults happen through written texts and chats that can be read and re-read. Even worse are comments made over group chats because then everyone “hears” them.

I would do a Duo (speech) with you but I only associate with attractive people.

Why would a boy say such a thing to a girl? He obviously doesn’t realize the power of words. Due to comments like the ones above, my beautiful daughter has convinced herself that she is unattractive and is ok with it (she says). 

But I say what the Psalms say — you are beautifully and wonderfully made!

  
Moms, please talk to your teens about what NOT to say. Teach them the power that resides in speech — power to encourage and uplift! Teach them to remove “ugly” from their vocabulary. None of us is ugly! God doesn’t create trash, and we are told that we are His masterpieces. We are made in His image. Dissing each other means we diss Him.