He Covers Me

Well, the clock is ticking away, and I am just four days away from (gulp) having my surgery.  Today has been a MUCH better day than previous ones in terms of pain.  I was just a hair away from going to the ER a couple of times this past week.  But I stuck it out (and lost another two pounds).  My dear husband took me to Target today so I could purchase some items I may need in my recovery and to stock up on groceries since I won’t be able to to the shopping for awhile.  I very nearly … Continue reading He Covers Me

Trying to Trust

Ow. The exam at the gastroenterologist’s office today hurt, and I’m not talking about my pocketbook because I’ve met my deductible for insurance.  The pain I experienced as he dug around my belly is indescribable.  My entire abdomen is sore and tender, from the bottom all the way to the top.  When he poked at my diaphragm, you’d have thought he cut right through the skin, the pain was so intense. I broke out in a sweat and had a panic attack right there on the table.  I could not WAIT to get out of that place.  Me going to … Continue reading Trying to Trust

Searching for Courage

I want to give up.  I want to cancel all doctor appointments and my surgery.  This burden is too big for me to carry.  I’ve given it to the Lord but it doesn’t yet FEEL like He has it.  I believe He has everything under control, so why do I FEEL so anxious anyway? The gastroenterologist wants me to get an upper GI sonogram.  This test is easy and noninvasive.  But he also wants to do an endoscopy — you know that procedure where the doctor knocks you out and then sticks a ginormous camera down your throat?  I’ve been … Continue reading Searching for Courage