Trying to Trust


The exam at the gastroenterologist’s office today hurt, and I’m not talking about my pocketbook because I’ve met my deductible for insurance.  The pain I experienced as he dug around my belly is indescribable.  My entire abdomen is sore and tender, from the bottom all the way to the top.  When he poked at my diaphragm, you’d have thought he cut right through the skin, the pain was so intense. I broke out in a sweat and had a panic attack right there on the table.  I could not WAIT to get out of that place.  Me going to a gastroenterologist is like a person who is afraid of heights going to the observation deck of the Sears Tower.  At least that’s over with.

The endoscopy appointment has been moved up to this Thursday.  I didn’t want to give myself too much time to panic. Seeing as how it is already on my mind to such an extent that I can’t eat lunch…it’s a good thing I don’t have to wait until next Monday!  I have to admit feeling at least slightly apprehensive about WHY that area hurts so badly.  But at least I’m finally trusting God and taking steps to find out what it is.

Please keep praying because I can literally feel it!  Several times since I’ve been home sandwiched in heating pads, I’ve felt an odd — but very calming — peace steal over my body, coming out of nowhere.  I know it must be due to somebody’s prayers for me that the Lord is answering.  Lift me up, please!  I need that peace that passes all understanding to guard my heart — and especially my mind — in Jesus.

God has spoken to me through Twitter again today.  I follow @LifeVerse and came across her posting of Revelation 1:17.

But he laid his right hand on me and said,“Don’t be afraid! I am the First and the Last.

Somehow the thought of Jesus’ right hand on me makes me want to curl up and take a deep, restful breath.

Then when I opened my Bible randomly, I came across a verse in 1 Thessalonians…verse 5:4

He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.

I jumped over to the Psalms and stumbled right onto multiple verses about praising the Lord.  There is power found in praising the Lord.  So even though I am at the end of myself, yet I will praise Him:

The Lord is holy!  In search of a worship song on youtube, I stumbled on a song I forgot was one of my favorites years ago.  I especially love the names of God the girls sing…

Sing along with me, will you?  Join me in prayer for protection and especially for peace to override all my anxiety and cares and concerns. I want to be like a baby falling asleep on her daddy’s shoulder…or like my lapdog stretched out in my lap (of course) with not a care in the world, trusting in the Creator to move in my life in a big way. No fears. Just trust.


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