Welcome to day 15 of my personal Bible Reading and Blogging Challenge.  I’ve worked my way partway through Genesis before jumping over to Job, following a Chronological reading plan, and tonight I finished reading the book of Job.

It certainly ended on a high note!  After hearing from God himself, Job finally did step up and confess, God forgave his friends, and then the Lord gave Job everything back that he had lost…and then some.  He had more children and grandchildren and lived another 140 years to a ripe old age.

Job said,

“I admit I once lived by rumors of you; now I have it all firsthand–from my own eyes and ears!

Am I living on rumors of God, or am I living on God firsthand?

That is a tough question.  I know in my head what is true about the Lord.  Why?  Because I’ve spent time in the Word of God.  But do I always ACT in concert with the knowledge that God is Sovereign?  For sure, I don’t.  I wail and wring my hands at the way our US Constitution is being utterly ignored in the halls of our government.  I allow circumstances in my life to hover in my consciousness, sort of like the little boy on Peanuts who is always under a cloud.  I say I have faith with my mouth…but deep down sometimes I don’t because I have not let Who God is and what He did for me truly rule my mind.  Instead, of I subsist on rumors of God rather than taking him in fully.

Today I made an appointment with the pulminologist.  No more head in the sand.  I talked to my doctor and found out that the other thing (other than TB) that can cause scarring in the lungs are underlying autoimmune diseases…which brings me full circle.  All this health stuff started with investigating whether or not I have an autoimmune disease.  I made the mistake of googling “autoimmune disease and lung scarring” and managed to scare myself all over again.  No more googling for me!

So.  Am I going to worry about what the doctor will find?  Pulminary fibrosis isn’t pretty.  It has no cure.  Sometimes it spreads quickly, and sometimes it is a slow progression of tissue loss…but according to what I’ve read, the tissue loss is irreversible. On the other hand, chronic asthma can also cause scarring of the lungs.  Although I did not begin wheezing until about three years ago, it’s entirely possible that the small amount of scar tissue is the result of an asthmatic condition.

I told you no more googling for me!

Tomorrow I will start a Bible quest on the side to cull as much as I can about healing from God’s Word.  I listened to Casting Crown’s The Word is Alive tonight and was almost overwhelmed with love for my heavenly Father, for my Jesus.  The connection I feel when I sing to Him…that is no mere rumor.  It is real.

No matter where this road leads me, God is driving my bus and is in control just as he was in control of Job’s life.  With His power, I will overcome.