The Lord is shaping me in ways I never imagined.  Today was one of those days spent down in the well with Jacob.  I will be so glad to get some rest and am claiming the scripture that joy comes in the morning!

Genesis 38 introduced the story of Judah, another of Jacob’s sons (by Leah) and Jacob’s brother.  The legacy of deceitfulness and broken promises continues in this history.  Judah moved away from home and got married.  He had three sons.  Back then, if a man died before giving his wife children, the man’s brother married her and gave her children to continue the family line.  Judah’s first son, Er, died before giving his wife Tamar a child.  So his brother married her but practiced birth control of some sort so she wouldn’t get pregnant.  God was displeased, and that son died also.  Rather than having Tamar marry his last son, Judah sent her away to her father’s house to life as a widow, promising her she could marry his other son when he became of age…but he did not honor that promise.

Well, Tamar struck back years later.  She dressed as a prostitute and slept with Judah after he finished grieving for his wife who had died.  She kept his ring and walking stick as payment.  Lo and behold, Tamar finally got pregnant.  When Judah found out she was pregnant without being married, he wanted to have her burned to death.  But then he learned that she had tricked him and that he himself was actually the father of her child.  He left her alone, and she gave birth to twins.

Why this story is stuck in between the story of Joseph and his rise and fall and rise again, I just don’t know.

Tamar was certainly desperate for a child and ended up with twins.  I’ve made wrong choices before in the midst of desperation, although not of the prostitute variety.  But there are times in my life when I have done boneheaded things instead of turning to the Lord.  Worse, I’ve turned to the Lord and STILL done boneheaded things.

I recently made a tough decision about the management of our homeschool group that I pray fervently was not one of those boneheaded actions. I did pray about it but am concerned that it’s a case where I am penalizing the rest of the group due to the actions of a few.  That is one of the very reasons I dislike school settings!  But in this case, I had to set a new policy where children have to stay with their parents on campus the entire time.  I eliminated the role of recess monitor because I figured that if kids are with their moms, a recess monitor is unnecessary.  I also made some other changes, such as designating “clean up supervisors” and having a closing time of prayer together.  I am afraid that I made too many changes at once, but it’s a done deal now. The SEND button has been pressed.  Probably the email will be in my inbox tomorrow.

God is certainly stretching me in this leadership role!  I pray I will have an open heart and open ears to hear his direction so that I do not lead my group astray.  I pray the Lord would come and fill me up tonight with his Living Water, because I am parched.  I pray for peace and to have a measure of God’s heart so that I can love my community the way He loves them…in truth and humility.