So tonight I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few things for the week.  While I was there, I started feeling slightly sick.  The sight of food began to be nauseating, which is not a good thing to experience right smack dab in the middle of the grocery store when you are surrounded by food.  I felt bad enough that the panic attack set in (it doesn’t take much to get that going in me).  There was just one thing on my mind: Get. Home. Now.

Somehow God got me through it.  Here I am at home, snuggled up with a heating pad and my laptop and a great book beside me.

I’m going to bite the bullet and schedule an appointment with my GP this week.  There are so many various, seemingly unrelated health issues I’ve been facing — but what if they are related somehow?  I keep getting the feeling that I need one doctor to take a look at all of me, and not just at pieces of me.

As I sat last week and watched the technician finish drawing five vials of blood from me,  I suddenly started thinking about blood and what it means.  I just sat there and passively gave a mere five vials.  Jesus gave so much more than that.  There’s no telling how much blood came out of his body before he breathed his last, but the Bible makes it clear that it is by that blood that we are made clean.

Ah…cleanliness.  That is what I crave.  I want the cobwebs swept out of my head.  I want the odds and ends of autoimmune disorders and abnormal blood protein and hormone fluctuations to be made clean.

Although I will go to my GP to discuss these issues, I am grateful that he is a Christian.  I am thankful that he will join me in kneeling at the feet of Jesus, seeking answers and holding out hope that these bodily issues can be easily remedied…either through the Blood, or through the Lord leading the doctor to wisdom.

He might send me to a therapist.  I don’t know why I have such an aversion to therapy.  Except perhaps that I’ve been there/done that, and it didn’t work.

I need to do something, though, because whatever this is keeps narrowing my life.  For example, I’m supposed to go to a classical education conference this week, and I am so excited!  Yet my cycle is late…if it comes this next week, there will likely be at least one day that I miss due to the extreme pain I’ve been experiencing.

Enough bellyaching from me.  I’m glad I’m home from the store and am feeling better.  Thanks be to God!

2 thoughts on “Bellyaching

  1. Hugs to you, girl. Glad you’re doing better. I know how easy it is for an entire day to be stolen by those feelings/thoughts, so the fact that your day has gotten better is awesome. (And I think grocery store panic attacks are the WORST, by the way.)

    I hope you find some answers, both physically and emotionally. Good for you, for braving the fire to do so! 🙂

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