Nehemiah 8-10

The people came together and listened as Ezra read the law aloud to them.  They stood for three hours straight listening to the Word, and then they spent another three hours confessing their sins.

Do you spend that much time confessing and listening?

I had a heart to heart with the Lord today.  While my daughter enjoyed her science class, I spent some time walking, thinking, and praying.  I became aware of sin in my heart that I didn’t even know was there…

You see, even though the Lord has provided so majestically for me and for my homeschooling group, I wanted more.  Rather than feel appreciation for all the wonderful avenues He has opened up, I’ve been focusing on the few aspects that, in my mind, are inconvenient.  I’ve felt bitterness and resentment swell inside because I am being prevented from creating the “perfect” environment for my families because of a lack of space.

Who am I, though, to decide what is perfect?  Do we not have a roof over our heads?  Do we not have a facility that is letting us use it for FREE?  Did we not just get all our supplies back intact with zero damage?  Did the Lord not protect me from harm just the other day?

I must have an inflated sense of worth and selfishness stored up in my heart to be bellyaching about these things.  And now for my prayer of confession — it wouldn’t be three hours long, but it is a start!

I’m sorry, Lord, for praising you outwardly and publicly yet inwardly complaining.  I’ve been like those who griped about the manna you provided.  I’ve been holding myself to a standard of MY excellence instead of YOUR excellence.  You are God, and I am not, and there are reasons for Your works that I can’t possibly understand.  Please forgive me for my arrogance…for my selfishness…and for my ingratitude today.  Thank you for loving me when I don’t deserve it.  Help me capture and examine my every thought, bend my will to Yours will, and cover my thought processes with your protection from those in the unseen places who shoot arrows and attempt to sabotage peace.

Amen.