Reaching out for hope

Galatians 1-3

I wrote many words here last night…but deleted them.  Here’s my conclusion:

Oh, I KNOW in my head that Jesus is here with me.  I know he will never leave me or forsake me.  I’m just not feeling His presence.

So it is in this mindset that I came across this in Galatians 3:

After starting your Christian lives in the spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort?

So…as of this moment…I give up.  I am guilty of always trying to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, teacher, director…by my own human effort.  I can’t do it.  I’m all out of effort.  I’m in pain physically and emotionally and all I wish to do is crawl into bed and stay there for a very long time.  I have no more human effort to give.  Anything else has to come from the Holy Spirit working in me.

Do you hear me, God?  Can you read these words?  I can’t do it without you!  I can’t get up every day and teach my daughter what she needs to know about you and about the world, mainly because I don’t know it myself.  I can’t be a wife to my husband or a mom to my daughter.  I am utterly at the end of my rope.  I am Frodo, holding onto the ledge with one hand, reaching upwards with all my might for the helping hand to haul me up the side of the cliff.

Like Frodo, I’m reaching…

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