I wrote many words here last night…but deleted them. Here’s my conclusion:
Oh, I KNOW in my head that Jesus is here with me. I know he will never leave me or forsake me. I’m just not feeling His presence.
So it is in this mindset that I came across this in Galatians 3:
After starting your Christian lives in the spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort?
So…as of this moment…I give up. I am guilty of always trying to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, teacher, director…by my own human effort. I can’t do it. I’m all out of effort. I’m in pain physically and emotionally and all I wish to do is crawl into bed and stay there for a very long time. I have no more human effort to give. Anything else has to come from the Holy Spirit working in me.
Do you hear me, God? Can you read these words? I can’t do it without you! I can’t get up every day and teach my daughter what she needs to know about you and about the world, mainly because I don’t know it myself. I can’t be a wife to my husband or a mom to my daughter. I am utterly at the end of my rope. I am Frodo, holding onto the ledge with one hand, reaching upwards with all my might for the helping hand to haul me up the side of the cliff.
Like Frodo, I’m reaching…