I had so many birthday well wishes on my Facebook wall today. People wrote many adjectives describing the kind of day they hoped I would have: amazing, wondrous, special, incredible, happy. And it occurred to me: just what constitutes an amazing day?
Amazing is different depending on who is doing the rating, isn’t it? To a person who has no arms or legs, amazing might be finding a new tool to help improve mobility. To a fisherman, amazing might include a 3am start out on the lake. But what does it mean to me?
Sadly, I don’t think I know myself very well because I’ve pondered this all day and still haven’t found an answer. I know I’d LIKE to say that feeding the hungry or helping someone would be at the top of my list: but is that reality, or is that just a shadow of the person I wished I was? You’d think that if loving others was at the top of my list I would do more than just blog about it.
I think I am rather like a lone wolf. That image disturbs me…but perhaps I should just embrace it and stop fighting my introverted nature. Even in company I find myself ruefully wishing I could retire with a good book. I love my family with a fierce devotion…but I actually find it pleasant for all of us to be doing our own activities like little planets circling the same sun, passing each others orbits yet still off in our own worlds.
Reading back those words shames me. But if I am honest, I am a lone wolf. I don’t enjoy social outings. Even something as simple as dinner out leaves me fidgety. I never like to order dessert or to linger. As soon as the food is consumed as a necessary evil, I’m ready to go home.
Perhaps my fibromyalgia pain is a contributing factor. I’m doing better, but I am not completely better. The past few evenings have been filled with that dreadful, painful bloated-so-I-can’t-eat feeling, compounded by hunger that gnaws and makes me nauseous. So on my birthday tonight I had a handful of almonds for dinner, if you can call it that.
Enough of this belly aching. I had a birthday today that to others might appear boring and mundane. But to me, it was priceless. I had breakfast at IHOP with my sweet daughter, did some schoolwork with her, folded 500 loads of laundry, took two naps, got a shoulder and neck massage from my daughter’s magic fingers, and read a great book. My dear husband made it home from an out of state trip in time to tell me happy birthday and give me a charm bracelet he picked out himself…a slice of cake, a four leaf clover, a slice of cake, crowns, and a heart. What makes it so special — so amazing — is that he picked it out especially for me right down to the beads and each charm.
And I realize as I write this how very fortunate I am because every day the Lord gives me with my precious family is an amazing one — separate orbits or not.