Steering my eyes

1 Chronicles 23-25

Today’s reading was a list of names.  I know it was more than just names, but I’m having a difficult time grasping it all.  David was old and “full of years” (I love the way that phrase sounds!) when he appointed his son Solomon to be the next king.  He then commissioned Solomon to build the temple and divided the Levites up to give the people special jobs to do.  It’s obvious that David was a gifted musician and that music for the Lord was in his heart because he directly oversaw the 280 musicians who would work in the temple making music.

For what am I gifted?  As a child I used to pretend to be a spy.  I thought it would be incredible to travel to foreign lands and learn other languages and sneak around without getting caught.  Then my dad told me that spies sometimes have to kill people.  Pop!  That aspiration went out the window!

Today I’m not feeling very gifted as a mother.  Without going into details, I’ll share a little of my heart.  A few days ago I blogged in the middle of an anxiety attack about my daughter who had been dealing with nausea for several days in a row.  I wasn’t sure what was the culprit and thought she might even need a trip to the doctor.  Today I learned that what was making her sick was her own anxiety over not telling me something that she needed to tell me.  She felt torn between her friends and me.  Loyalty to her friends won out until I got a phone call from another mom today, and then the dam broke and she told me all that she had stuffed away inside her.

Not surprisingly, the nausea went away after this cleansing.

I am glad to know the root of her anxiety but feel troubled inside that it took so long before she told me.  I’m also kicking myself because I KNEW…my “mommy antennae” saw by the look on her face from time to time that there was something on the tip of her tongue that she wanted to say, but I didn’t push her.

I pray she will learn something from this experience.  Everything is light to the Lord; even the darkness is as light to Him.  He sees everything, and he still loves.

I don’t see everything.  But I trust Him to steer my eyes in the right direction.

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