I went to my pre-op appointment this morning hoping to feel a sense of closure about saying goodbye to my girl innards. I’d prayed the Gideon prayer and asked God that if surgery was NOT the path he wants me to take, that he would set up doors.
So when is a door a door?
I found out today that I have not one but two markers, or antibodies, in my blood that make me susceptible to developing blood clots. I knew about one of those markers — anticardiolipin antibodies. Now I have learned that I also have an elevated level of B2 Glycoprotein I (IGG) antibodies. So what’s a glycoprotein antibody, anyway, and why is it important? According to the lab report,
Antibodies to Beta 2 GPI are often found in patients with the Phospholipid Antibody Syndrome. Beta 2 GPI appears to be the primary antigenic target detected with the traditional andicardiolipin antibody testing. The presence of antibodies to Beta 2 GPI has a greater specificity for the clinical complications of thrombosis. In contrast, the sensitivity of testing for anti-Beta 2 GPI is less than the traditional anticardiolipin antibody testing.
My number was 28. Anything over 30 represents “risk factor for thrombosis.” I’d say that 28 is pretty darn close to 30. Numbers between 20 and 30 are “equivocal” and “may be reactive.”
Thrombosis means blood clot. Blood clots lead to strokes, embolisms, death. So…the doctor is sending me to the Wizard.
Actually, not to the Wizard of Oz, but the Wizard of Blood, otherwise known as a hematologist, to see if I need to be treated with some kind of blood thinning medication prior to, during, and after surgery….and also to hear thoughts about whether hormone replacement therapy is even an option for me.
So…I thought I was going to say goodbye to my ovaries. But if I can’t take replacement estrogen due to an increased risk of blood clots…maybe I will keep them if they aren’t diseased.
The (good?) news is that a repeat sonogram by a different technician also showed evidence of adenomyosis. So it’s now been seen on two separate occasions, at different times in my cycle, by two separate sonogram technicians. This means I feel a bit better about the decision to say adios to my uterus since there really is no medical cure for adenomyosis except for hysterectomy.
I am desperate to know God’s will for my life. If this blood clotting factor is a big huge door he’s placed in my path, I don’t want to rip a hole in it with an axe just so I can do things MY way. Blood thinning medications are icky, from what I’ve heard, but blood clots are deadly. If I keep my girl parts inside and just buckle down and deal with another ten years or so of daily pain, then I won’t be introducing the need for blood thinners or surgery. Or maybe not. My husband, the one who knows me better than anyone else and sees me all the time with multiple heating pads, tells me to continue on this surgical path because it’s the only way (short of a miracle from the Lord) to get better. On the other hand, his mother tells me to wait and live with it. I think the thought of blood clots scares her. As it scares me.
But not as much as the potential for nausea.
So, was this a door? Or merely a product of a very observant and thorough doctor who wants to cover all the bases? As always, I appreciate your prayers as I seek God’s will for me and my family.