Exodus 10-12:The Escape

It’s difficult to blog about what I’ve been reading in the Bible when I am so emotionally spent in my own life.  Anxiety has a grip on me, I am weepy, and, for the first time I can remember, I am feeling on the brink of losing it, whatever “it” may be.  My mind?

I begin the day feeling fresh and full of worship.  I am hungry and eat well.  But as the day progresses, stress begins to gnaw on my insides to such an extent that I have completely lost my appetite by the time dinner rolls around.  This is not a good thing in my family because everyone else is hungry!  Tonight my sweet husband gave me a break.  When we returned home from piano practice, he had a fire going in the fireplace, classical music playing, and dinner cooking on the stove.  I didn’t even have to clean one dish!  If you are reading this, sweetie, realize that I consider myself the most fortunate wife on the planet, and I thank God for you every day!!  Thank you for giving me this break this evening.

All I can say tonight about Exodus 10-12 is that I read it.  The Lord sent more terrible plagues on Egypt, culminating in a horrifying one where the first born of every living thing (except the Israelites who had painted their door frames with the blood of a lamb, as commanded by God) died.  At that point, Pharaoh didn’t just let them leave…he kicked them out of the country.

Today I sent my brother a text and told him that I needed a break from being a grown up.  In a conversation later, I realized that much of my stress is due to me taking on all my cares instead of casting them on the Lord, who cares for you and for me just as he did for Moses and the Israelites.

So this evening I’m working on that.  Casting away the cares…being anxious for nothing…it’s just not working for me.  I can’t do it alone or on my own strength:

8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

At this moment I am definitely not taking pleasure in my weakness.  I am dragging, and if my weakness is a lightening rod for God’s power, then I must be lit up like a flaming torch right now!

I’m thankful tomorrow is another day and hopeful that one day the Lord will bring me out of my Egypt called Anxiety.

2 thoughts on “Exodus 10-12:The Escape

  1. Oh I SO hope that this feeling has passed you by now! I can relate. This entire winter season has been a struggle for me, a feeling of pit dwelling in a way, only it’s as if someone is throwing things into the pit on top of me! For all I know you are feeling better, but I’m using this moment as an opportunity to pray for you anyway. 🙂

    1. Winter makes me blue. I didn’t notice it as much when we lived in Florida, probably because of the short, warm winters we had!

      I am still in a bad place, but I’m getting better. There are some changes I have to make to get a better balance in my life.

      I just finished reading the Bronze Bow, and I have to say that I identified so well with a character in the book who was said to be possessed by demons of fear. Her name is Leah, and she would not leave the house and was terrified of everybody. Sounds like agoraphobia to me! I won’t give anything else away, but let’s just say that she had an encounter with Jesus. It made me wish He would hurry up and come back!!

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