Sledgehammer…or flyswatter. That is the question for me today.
I took an enormous leap this morning and went ahead and pre-registered with the hospital for my surgery. And although I am mostly resolved about the way forward, I wonder sometimes if I am not dealing with my medical issues with a sledgehammer rather than a flyswatter. Sledgehammer: hysterectomy. Flyswatter: diagnostic scope and ablation and hormones.
Yet when I consider that over the past month, I’ve had maybe three days of feeling decent and yucky pain the rest of the time…when I consider that my doctor told me I am now in the BMI zone considered “anorexic” even though I am not…when I consider the sleepless nights due to pain…all together I find I am walking on the path to healing. Although I would not have chosen it for myself, I recognize that this surgery is the path God has set me on.
When I have moved past the surgery and am on my way to a recovered life, I will point my praise not just to the doctor, but to the God who made me and who has provided such wonderful medical options for me.
A friend asked me today how I’m handling the mental aspect of preparing for a hysterectomy. I told her that the main thing I am feeling — especially as I am once again in bed sandwiched between multiple heating pads — is resolve.
Lately God keeps bringing this Bible passage to the front of my mind:
28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11)
What does it mean to take on Jesus’ yoke? As a city girl, I have only a vague image in my mind of what a yoke is — a wooden device somehow used with oxen. But oxen aren’t the only ones who use yokes in the world. People use them, too — and this is the image I think Jesus might have been trying to convey:
When we take on Jesus’ yoke, we are metaphorically taking on his teachings and making them our own philosophies. The act of doing this results in a reduction in our burdens and rest for our souls. What are Jesus’ teachings, anyway? Here are a few of them, off the top of my head:
- Pray for and bless your enemies
- Pray in secret instead of trying to attract attention for your own godliness
- Those who want to be first must put themselves last
- Do to others as you’d have them do to you
- Don’t judge others
- Love your neighbor as yourself
- Love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength
- Don’t put your treasure in stuff; invest in loving others through your actions instead
- Believe in the Son
- Turn the other cheek rather than fighting back
- Standing and singing in church without wishing they’d call for us to sit down
- Taking long walks with my family
- Going on vacation whenever
- Taking a trip to the grocery store without getting completely fatigued
- Possibly (hopefully!) having a reduction in my anxiety levels so I can travel overseas
- Gaining weight
- Volunteering at church
- Helping other women who face similar challenges