I want to be calm. I long to be serene and at peace, no matter what life throws at me. I want Jesus to be the first on my mind when I wake, throughout my day, and when I go to sleep. Unfortunately, that’s just not reality for me right now. I can’t figure out why. I am in the Word every day, but inside I am an empty shell. A hypocrite. A sinner in need of a saving, daily…hourly…every second. Looking back on my life, there have been times that I have been so close to God. I really … Continue reading The Ultimate Author
This enormous fella has staked out a place in the back yard in between our palm and magnolia trees. I did not get out the broom because it’s obvious he’s a bit long in the tooth and is therefore a survivor since anything that lived though this past summer has to have a lot of gumption! (Not to mention I’m also a wimp. If I try to smack him I might miss, and then he might decide to smack me. Or eat me. He’s as big as my hand!) As long as he (or she) stays outside and away from … Continue reading Fighting like Gideon
Just a couple days ago I boasted that I felt a sense of RESOLVE about having surgery in 18 short days. Let it be proclaimed from the rooftops that the resolve has slithered to the floor and now lies puddled at my frigid feet. Oh my goodness, I think the anxiety about the surgery is going to be worse than the surgery itself! I visited the HysterSisters website again today and really wish I had not done that. Maybe it would be better for me to be ignorant of all the things that may happen post-op. Perhaps I don’t need … Continue reading Frigid Feet
October 26th is the Big Day. It’s the day that I will take the plunge and get rid of my inner girl parts, forever. As one of my good friends told me once, what has my uterus done for me lately, anyway? 🙂 Of course as soon as I scheduled the surgery, my internet research trying to find funny quotes (I need a little humor to get me through this!) instead brought up horrible websites that demean the practice of hysterectomy and blame doctors for pushing it on patients. They advise women to be strong and tough and WAIT IT … Continue reading Big Day Scheduled
Sweet dreams. I’d love to have them…if I could get to sleep. Last night was the seventh night in a row that I was unable to sleep and the eighth day of increasing pain. You know something’s got to change when your tween daughter who normally notices nothing about physical appearance suddenly tells you that you don’t look well. Must be those circles under my eyes! Tomorrow is a Big Day. My husband is joining me in a visit to the doctor who diagnosed me with adenomyosis so we can discuss surgery options. If the Lord is trying to make … Continue reading Hold me?